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A screechy modem is the gateway between you, AOL, and all the slow-loading bitmaps of naked people you could want. You Must Be 18 or Older to Enter recreates what it was like to be young in the s when the internet was new, confusing, and kind of frightening, and casts you as a kid for whom sex is also new, confusing, and kind of frightening.

The porn is impressionistic ASCII art, the kind of porn I imagine characters looking at on those retro computers in Fallout. You explore increasingly debased categories while under time pressure because every noise you hear could be your parents in the driveway.

It's a singular recreation of a moment in time, one that's not so far away and yet fascinatingly distant with its domains like fourecks. If you like this you might also like: how do you Do It?

Trials in Tainted Space a name surely chosen for its abbreviation gives you a spaceship and worlds to explore, but before it does that it puts you through a rigorous character creation process that includes detailing your genitalia in some very specific ways.

No matter what you choose, you end up playing the version of Captain Kirk who exists more in memes than actual Star Trek—the one who spends all his time banging green alien girls.

It's a text-heavy game, with small character illustrations in the corner of the screen. In a nice touch you can choose from several different artist's interpretations for many characters.

There's combat, and grid maps of planetary locations to explore, and a storyline about racing a rival heir, but mostly there's a lot of sex with a variety of weird aliens.

Like, really weird. Everything is somebody's fetish and there's stuff in Trials in Tainted Space will make you say, "Wow, somebody out there wants to fuck that?

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